Last night was new. My mind felt like a blank slate for the first time in a really long time, and as short as that moment was, no more than two minutes, it felt good. I’m not sure if it was just seeing something new or it seeming so surreal. Even when just like that, with a few words, it was all gone, and my exact reason behind wanting to feel it again had catapulted me back to where I’d come from, I didn’t realise how much I’d missed it. The feeling of not having a hate in the world, not a scratch or single missing piece from my soul or a bitter feeling in my bone. I’d wished to savour it more. It’d made me forget for a couple minutes the past six months of my life and how irrelevant problems can seem next to tall buildings and open seas.
It’s gone now, replaced with the events of today that has only left me a little more…shattered than I was the day before. But funny enough just like last night, even for a split second between 10 minute intervals and every roll of droplets at the end of streaming tears down my face, I feel it again, the renewal of something. I’m no hopeless romantic, I am as retarded as far as romantic goes. I stopped believing in fairytales and happy ever afters simply because they don’t exist. It was no love story… it was just me and my deepest thoughts above moving vehicles, facing a city that represented endless possibilities and being so small never felt so good.