“You know those nights when you go to bed feeling like shit hoping that the morning to come is going to be better but you just end up feeling more like shit?
Every night, every morning, every bus ride, every train ride, routine is not even a word to describe it. Maybe I’m just sad. The kind of sad that takes a whole lot of time. The kind of sad that makes you never want to know what being happy feels like any more just so things wont go bad and you won’t have to start being sad all over again.”
That was how I felt 5 months ago. Sad. And the very same happiness I thought I didn’t want to feel ever again, came wooh-ing me with answers to questions I thought I didn’t want to hear, slight efforts I didn’t want to notice, genuineness I didn’t want to believe, but yet still I welcomed it in. And now I’m not so sure why because I think I’m becoming sad all over again.
Happiness is just outside my window
Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?
Or is happiness a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in?
Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can’t make it come or go
But you are gone- not for good but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good
Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never mine to hold
Careful child, light the fuse and get away
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks
Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that’s enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar
Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you’ll never find it all
Let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she’ll be home
Home, home, home
You know those nights when you go to bed feeling like shit hoping that the morning to come is going to be better but you just end up feeling more like shit?
Every night, every morning, every bus ride, every train ride, routine is not even a word to describe it. To be in such a familiar place, that seemed so foreign, even though you’ve recognized every single shop you’ve passed, yet your still totally lost. Maybe I’m just sad. The kind of sad that takes a whole lot of time. The kind of sad that makes you never want to know what being happy feels like any more just so you won’t have to start being sad all over again.
“But you are gone – not for good but for now
And gone for now feels a lot like gone for good”
Can we forget the past
I miss you I mean it
And if love is made of glass
Can we pick up the pieces
Due to my non existent social life, guess who’s some how (I swear I don’t know how it happened) into reading. Ah yes! Yours truly.
Saturday afternoon called for a nice bus ride to Barnes and Nobles Down town. Rewarded myself with a new journal as well after picking up this book. “Kiss and Blog”. It’s pretty much about ….. well … your typical High school teenage (almost) best friends. Long story short..One gets popular, the other doesn’t and takes revenge by creating a nasty blog about her best friend revealing all of her dirty little secrets. Girl drama indeed.
It really just had me thinking the lengths we go for popularity though. To be known. To be noticed. Not realizing what it comes with. I mean let’s face it, you’re probably not going to be liked by many for your “upper status”. Fight downs, haters… whatever we call them these days. I’m probably barely making any sense with this post and should probably stop since I feel like I’m getting no where with it. I think maybe because I haven’t put in such deep thought into it as I should have before attempting to post. This is really just a graze of the scalp, so bare with me. But really though, I mean we’ve seen the outcome of most of these prom queens, I can’t imagine what’s so great about the rants and name calling and rumours; I must be missing out. But it’s high time we realized maybe we’re not all meant to be Princes and Princesses. Some of us are meant to be the trees and the grass in the background, the rocks on the river bed and as unbelievable and nonsensical as it may seem, we’re just as important as the Prince and Princess. I’m pretty sure Mr n Mrs Charming didn’t lay on the desert sands… or whatever (oh lord I’m bad at jokes). I’m just saying maybe the spotlight isn’t for everyone, neither is it as good as it may seem. But like all situations and circumstances known, someone has to be an example, which I feel is just life. How else would we learn and know better. You’d think obviously by learning from others, when it’s clearly not the case. IF though, by any circumstance it can be avoided, I say why not avoid it. I know common sense is probably not as common as we may think it to be but let’s not be so dumb about the decisions we make, the things we say, the way we act and the things or people we chose to follow and take to look up to.